The Naked Truth
by Tani2
Summary: Janine gets more than she bargained for when she is forced to stay at the firehouse. M for language, nudity, and adult situations. No lemon, I'm afraid, but slight Egon/Janine. And no yaoi! Mind outta the man love gutter, you!
1. Home, Sweet Home

**The Naked Truth**

**By: ****Tani**

**Synopsis: **Janine gets more than she bargained for when she's forced to stay at the firehouse.

**Timeline: **August 1989

**Rating: **M; for strong language, blatant nudity and adult situations. Smut-less but still on the suggestive side...VERY suggestive. *sly wink*

**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters nor do I profit from their use in this story. My purpose is one of philosophical fulfillment: I write, therefore I am.

**Author's Notes: **So this is my first posting to this site, but it's far from my first fic. I wrote it some time back in the late 1990s or early 2000s. I can't remember which. *blinks* Hey! Stop calling me old! Not...old! *chugs prune juice and slams down glass* Anyway, I've been lurking hear for a while, reading and reviewing, but I never posted anything. I figured that needed to change. Maybe the creative juices will flow again if I just put myself out there. Feel free to review, but I won't flip if you don't. This was originally just a one shot, but I broke it up into short chapters to help with the flow of the story. This was one of my favorite RGB stories I've ever written. I think it's funny and I hope you like it too. I'll be posting all the chapters in one day, so it'll be complete ASAP!

And by the way, I don't write RGB yaoi or yuri, so no naked gay GB smut here. If you don't like that, leave now. You've been warned. Janine and Egon shippers on the other hand will likely be pleased as pie. Mmmmm......pie. *blank stare...blinks* Sorry, drifted for a second there.

Enjoy, faithful reader! I'm off to go find some pie!

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**PROLOGUE**

**Sunday night – 9:15 p.m.**

Janine Melnitz struggled to get her last key into the corresponding lock on her front door. Her three overnight bags kept getting in the way, as did the purse she carried with the strap clenched between her teeth. She finally got the door open and made her way into her newly repaired and refurbished apartment.

It was the first time she'd been back since the guys had demolished the place while curing themselves of their health chip-induced ghost allergy. She couldn't even tell that there had been any damage. She took her bags into the bedroom and dropped them. To her surprise, there was an artfully wrapped gift box on her bed. The attached card read, _'Welcome home, from a secret admirer'_. Knowing her guys, she decided not to get too excited just yet.

She slipped out of her pumps and sat down on the bed, stretching her tired feet and wiggling her toes. "Men are so lucky," she muttered to herself. "Only women and drag queens truly understand the hell that is high-heeled shoes."

She leaned over to open the box. When she saw what was inside, she nearly choked with laughter. It was a very common housewarming gift, a plant. A geranium to be exact, a reminder of the _last _time they'd wrecked her place. Only Dr. V could be that twisted. She'd have to remember to get him something nice in return. Like maybe a box of gourmet chocolates . . . which she'd hide under his pillow . . . before hinting to Slimer where it was stashed.

All vengeance aside, it was really sweet of the guys to pay for the repairs and to replace her damaged furniture (even though it _was _all their fault). Winston's dad had given them a great deal and his construction company finished the job in record time. The guys then came over and put her new furniture into place where they knew she'd be most pleased with it. All in all, she had to stay with the guys for only a little while.

Just long enough for all hell to break loose.

Janine still couldn't help smiling about it. She had been at the firehouse for two whole weeks without incident. Ironically, it wasn't until the very end of her stay with them that things got very uncomfortable. Janine didn't work on Saturdays during the summer due to the light load of busts, and it was clear from their adherence to their usual weekend habits that they'd forgotten she was there yesterday. She certainly wasn't gonna put in any weekend overtime for a while, _that _was for damned sure.

She was glad that this didn't all happen when she first came to stay, or things would have been very weird for those two weeks. However things would still be pretty weird in their working environment for a while if she didn't find a way to break the tension. Lucky for her, she had just the thing.

Janine went to her closet and dug out her photo albums from the back of the top shelf. She searched through the big dusty tomes, smiling in reminiscence of all the events captured in the images contained therein.

Finally, she found it. "This oughta make them feel better. The things I do for my guys." She carefully extracted the photo and took it into the living room. She pulled two typed labels out of her purse, one was a note and the other was a mailing label addressed to Ghostbusters Central.

She wrote something on the back of the photo, put it into a business-size envelope, affixed the label with the note on the back, and then sealed it. She put the sealed envelope into a larger manila envelope, sealed that, and then pasted on the address label. The guys would never know that it was from her. She then used colored pencils and a glitter glue pen to decorate the manila envelope. She put it into her purse to drop off at the post office on her way to work the next morning.

She returned to her bedroom to change into her pajamas, chuckling at the previous day's events.


	2. Oh My God! Winston?

**The Naked Truth**

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters nor do I profit from their use in this story. My purpose is own of philosophical fulfillment: I write, therefore I am.

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**Last time . . . .**

_She returned to her bedroom to change into her pajamas, chuckling at the previous day's events._

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**Saturday morning – 3:46 a.m.**

Janine awoke suddenly from a fitful sleep. She still hadn't gotten used to sleeping on the couch. She'd have to get the guys to spring for a pullout couch. Maybe even an extra bed could be put into one of the storage spaces to make a guest room.

She got up to stretch her legs. She struck a match and lit the scented candle she'd brought from her apartment, placing it back on the coffee table. It helped her to sleep. The aroma reminded her of home.

The fire made her realize how dry her throat was, though. It was frightfully hot in the firehouse in the summer, even at night. There was just not enough money in the budget it took to run the place to spring for a central air conditoner that could cool the whole firehouse. Even a smaller window-based unit like the one she had at home would never cool even one room as there was too much connected open space.

Janine sighed. "I miss my apartment." She was surprised at how raspy she sounded, so she decided to get a drink of water to at least moisten her parched palate. She picked up the candle again, using it to light her way to the kitchen.

As she poured herself some ice water from the fridge, she thought to herself how strange the firehouse seemed at night. It was such a bustle of activity during the day. The idea of it being so quiet was unthinkable. The only sound she could hear was the faint sound of snoring coming from the bunkroom on the floor above her. She smiled. Such a loud, annoying sound to be so comforting.

Janine drank three full glasses of water before her thirst was sated. Unfortunately, she didn't afford her bladder a second thought while she was tending to her throat. Candle in hand, she quickly headed to the bathroom on her floor. The door was slightly ajar so she quickly pushed it open and raced inside.

Just as quickly she raced back out.

"Janine!"

"Oh my God!" she whispered contritely. "I'm so sorry Winston!"

A shirtless Winston Zeddemore was standing in the dark in front of the toilet, his arm braced on the wall in front of him. His other hand was trying to point his semi-erect penis at the water, but the nocturnal wood and his state of semi-consciousness was making it difficult for him to aim. He was just about to relieve himself when Janine had rushed into the bathroom, catching him with his pants down, literally.

He was awake now, no doubt about it.

All thoughts of her own urgency forgotten at once, Janine ran from the bathroom and back to the couch where she put the candle on the coffee table and flung herself down, pulling the blanket up over her head. Two minutes later, Winston came into the rec room where she was laying . . . well, hiding . . . under the covers.

"Janine?"

"Yeah, Winston?" she replied from beneath the blanket.

"Um, I'm sorry. We usually use the bathroom down here in the middle of the night so we don't wake each other with the toilet flushing. I wasn't totally awake when I got up to pee, and I forgot you were down here. I should have used the one upstairs."

"It's okay, Winston. I should have made sure no one was in there. I just assumed that since the door was half open and the light was off . . ."

"I couldn't deal with the brightness this late. I must not have closed the door all the way. Sorry 'bout that."

"No, I'm sorry. I never meant to invade your privacy." She paused for a moment, unsure of whether to delve further into what had just happened. "Winston, I wish I could say I didn't see anything, but I guess you know that's not true."

"Yeah, I know."

"Can we just forget that this ever happened?"

"Probably not."

"Then can we just never mention it again?"

"That we can do."

"Good."

"Okay."

"Good-night, Winston."

"Sleep tight, Janine."

With that, he left her to return upstairs to the bunkroom. When the coast was clear, Janine came out from under the blanket, and crept to the bathroom for her own nature call. She then returned to the couch, made herself as comfortable as possible, and went to sleep, dreaming of being pleasured by beautiful chocolate skinned Zulus, each with a 9-inch . . . .


	3. Ray? Holy Crap!

**The Naked Truth**

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters nor do I profit from their use in this story. My purpose is one of philosophical fulfillment: I write, therefore I am.

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Last time . . . .

_With that, he left her to return upstairs to the bunkroom. When the coast was clear, Janine came out from under the blanket, and crept to the bathroom for her own nature call. She then returned to the couch, made herself as comfortable as possible, and went to sleep, dreaming of being pleasured by beautiful chocolate skinned Zulus, each with a 9-inch . . ._

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Saturday morning – 11:29 a.m.

" . . . cock . . ."

"Huh?!?!" Janine exclaimed.

Peter rolled his eyes at their wool-gathering secretary. "I said let me know if I get any phone calls. I'm taking Theresa out for a cocktail tonight and she may call."

"Oh . . . yeah. Sure, Dr. V."

"Thanks, Janine. You're an angel. I'll be downstairs doing laundry if you need me."

Janine sighed and went back to her typing. She was trying hard not to be a pervert, but she couldn't get Winston's naked body out of her head. Years spent in the military, then in his father's construction company, and finally carting around a 50-lb proton pack had given him a very impressive physique. Not to mention his other 'endowments'.

Janine felt kind of guilty about the turn of her thoughts when Egon walked by to get a gadget from the basement for his current experiment, and then again when he returned to go back to the lab. She calmed down by telling herself that Winston would never tell anyone, least of all Egon, who would never figure it out for himself. Even if she wrote '_I SAW WINSTON'S DICK_' on her forehead with a black Sharpie marker, he'd never even notice.

Egon's usual obliviousness to her offered some peace of mind for once, but in truth, it was really Winston she was afraid to face. Lucky her, he'd avoided her like the plague all morning. They'd gone out on an early bust, from which they all returned covered in slime. They'd taken turns in the shower, all grumbling about the mess. At least everyone but Winston, that is. He hadn't spoken a single syllable all day.

Janine was finally starting to get some work done when a deliveryman arrived. It was a package for Ray from his Aunt Lois. Lois had gone on vacation to Miami, so it was most likely a souvenir. Janine signed for it and carried it upstairs.

She peaked into the lab, but Egon was alone. She could have asked him where Ray was, but she didn't want to distract him. That was a good way to get oneself blown to smithereens.

Slimer floated out of the kitchen with a hoagie in each hand. Good. He always seemed to have 'Ray-dar' for his favorite Ghostbuster. "Hey Slimer!"

"Yaaaahh!!!!!" The spud dropped his snacks, but dove quickly to catch them.

"Sorry, Slimer. Didn't mean to startle you. Have you seen Ray?"

"Yeah. Ray in bunkroom."

"Thanks, Slimer."

She proceeded to the bunkroom, opening the door and stepping inside. "Ray! You got a . . . oh shit!!!!"

"Janine! Haven't you ever heard of knocking?!?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! You had a package from your aunt!" she yelled. She closed her eyes and tossed the package to him then turned and ran. She bumped into the door as she tried to run out of the bunkroom. No longer facing Ray, she decided it was safe (and safer) to open her eyes. She ran through the door, rubbing her aching forehead as she went.

Ray had been standing naked by his bed with his boxers in his hand. It was evident he'd lost the battle for the showers.

That wasn't all that was evident. Ray was sporting a very prominent erection when Janine walked in.

Winston had once regaled her with stories of Vietnam vets getting hard-ons during battles. Ray was definitely the type to get carried away like that. He certainly seemed to gain a nearly orgasmic pleasure from busting ghosts.

Despite her best efforts to push it from her conscious thoughts, Janine's mind focused on what she'd just seen. Ray was starting to lose weight. He no longer looked chubby in his uniform, but it took seeing him naked to know how good he _really _looked. He was well muscled from the efforts of Ghostbusting. But that wasn't what stood out in her mind. What stood out in her mind was what stood _up_ on Ray. Her mind immediately compared it to Winston's. The youngest Ghostbuster may not have had Winston's length, but he had him beat on thickness. It seemed that Ray was potentially the stockiest Ghostbuster in more ways than one!

Janine mentally shook herself to derail the naughty train of thoughts in her head. She then retreated back to her desk. What a day! What the hell else could happen?


	4. Peter! What are you DOING?

**The Naked Truth**

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters nor do I profit from their use in this story. My purpose is one of philosophical fulfillment: I write, therefore I am.

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**Last time . . . .**

_Janine retreated back to her desk. What a day! What the hell else could happen?_

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Saturday afternoon – 2:57 p.m.

Janine was just finishing her accounting for the week when the phone rang. It was Theresa, Peter's date. He had just gone back downstairs to wash his last load of clothes. Janine put Theresa on hold and went to get him.

In the basement, Peter was just putting his last load into the washer. Poor Janine. She didn't know that Peter put the sweats and briefs he'd had on in with the last load he washed and had not yet changed into his clean suit (or even his underwear for that matter).

"Oh for crying out loud! What the _hell _are you _doing_?!?"

"AH!!!! Janine!"

"Where are your clothes, Peter? Oh never mind! I don't wanna know! Telephone! Theresa! Move your ass . . . uh . . . I mean . . . oh skip it!" she exclaimed huffily, before storming back upstairs. This was just too much.

As was Peter.

No wonder he had to beat them off with a stick. The man was hung like a horse. She'd always wondered how a man who was so shallow when it came to women could keep them for so long. Most of the gold diggers he dated should have known he wasn't rich, just famous by around the fourth or fifth date, and the decent girls should have been tired of his callous comments even sooner. Yet, not counting the girls who stopped seeing Peter because ghosts followed them on their dates, his _shortest _relationship was five dates. For a borderline womanizer like Dr. Peter Venkman, that was almost inconceivable . . . until now!

Having a package like Ron Jeremy without _looking like _Ron Jeremy certainly could do wonders for a man's sex life.

Janine's senses were now on sexual overload, and it didn't help that Peter didn't try to cover himself from her and had "stood at attention" at the mere mention of Theresa's name.

A fully dressed Peter sauntered up the stairs a minute later, winked seductively at her, and went to his office to take the call.

Janine frowned darkly. 'Damn handsome, well built, well hung, Ghostbuster bastards!' she thought.

"I wanna go home," she moaned pitifully.


	5. Oh my Egon

**The Naked Truth**

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters nor do I profit from their use in this story. My purpose is one of philosophical fulfillment: I write, therefore I am.

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**Last time . . . .**

_Janine frowned darkly. 'Damn handsome, well built, well hung, Ghostbuster bastards!' she thought. _

_"I wanna go home," she moaned pitifully._

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Saturday evening – 6:32 p.m.

Office hours were from 10 to 4, so once Janine's workday was through, she went up to the rec room to watch TV. "Peter's not getting extra work out of _me _just because I'm staying here!" she'd insisted to Egon, who'd taken a break from his research to eat a quick dinner with her.

"Of course not, Janine. We certainly don't get any extra work out of _him_ just because he stays here. Just tell him that if he gives you a hard time."

She remembered Peter's reaction to the mention of his girlfriend's name and tried desperately not to take Egon's last statement out of context.

Looking for a temporary distraction for her poor over-stimulated mind, Janine went into the kitchen and fixed herself a cup of tea with a splash of Smirnoff to calm her nerves. She settled on the couch and started watching an Audrey Hepburn movie.

Janine was soon feeling less skittish about the day's events. In fact, she started to find the whole thing rather amusing. It was bitter irony that Egon was the only one who didn't give her an eyeful. "What a shame," she muttered with a scandalous little smirk.

Her pleasant reverie was abruptly cut short when she heard Egon's voice carry from the lab. As calmly as one greets the mailman, he said "Oh . . . fuck."

Then came the explosion.

The firehouse shook with the force. Janine raced up the stairs to the lab.

"Egon! Egon, are you all right?" She ran into the lab, the first to arrive, with the footfalls of the others coming up the stairs from the garage.

Upon entering the lab, Janine let out a strangled gasp, then a scream of frustration.

"Oh, come on!" she exclaimed. "What the fuck is up today?!?"

Egon was unconscious, and very nearly naked. The blast that had ripped the lab apart had also ripped most of his clothes off. Janine pushed aside her discomfiture and knelt by Egon, touching her fingers to his throat, checking for a pulse. It was strong and steady. Egon's eyes fluttered then opened.

"Juh . . . Janine?"

"It's okay. Just lie still. I'm right here."

"Whuh . . . ." His voice caught in his throat so he cleared it a few times, coughed a little, and then continued. "What happened?"

"You got hit by a little explosion. Are you hurt?" She looked down at his body and was shocked to see a very erect "Spengler Junior". She didn't mean to stare, but she couldn't help it. Egon's eyes focused some, and he realized that Janine was staring down at his torso with wide, haunted eyes. Wanting to see the damage for himself, he pushed his glasses back into place, as they had fallen askew in the blast. He looked down at himself to see if he was hurt. Maybe he didn't feel it because he was going into shock.

"Janine, do you see some . . . thing?" And with that, he learned the _true _meaning of the word shock.

He was caught. Janine had that effect on him almost everyday. He hid it well, crossing his legs or standing behind things. There was nowhere to hide now, not even behind his clothes.

Janine looked back at Egon's face with wide eyes. They stared at each other for a moment.

That's when the other three guys arrived.

"What the hell?" Winston shouted.

"Oh . . . my." Ray babbled.

Peter quirked a brunette brow at them and smirked. "Look, if you two just wanted some privacy, all you hadda do was ask."

"Peter! We . . . I . . ."

Janine screeched, mortified beyond the ability to form coherent phrases.

"I assure you that this was an innocent encounter," Egon remarked lightly. He got up and grabbed a physics textbook to cover himself with.

"_Sure _it was," Peter drolled. "You know, you're making a bad habit of these 'innocent encounters', Melnitz."

Janine's face turned nearly the color of her hair and contorted in rage. "Bastard! Who the hell told you to do laundry in the buff anyway?" Janine stared at the other men. Her face grew slack and paled rapidly. 'Uh oh,' she thought. 'Did I just say that out loud?' Winston and Ray stared at her in wide-eyed amazement at that admission. Egon's passive expression quickly changed to one of mild annoyance.

"I always wash the clothes I'm wearing with my last load when I do laundry on the weekends. That way I have something to change into when I'm done."

"Well, I don't work on the weekends!" Janine defended herself staunchly.

"That's why I do that on the weekends." Peter shrugged off her sensible statement. "Besides, no one told you to come down there anyway." Peter grinned wickedly.

"_You _did, you jerk! You said to come tell you when Theresa called!" Peter's smile faded, much to Janine's satisfaction. But it was a brief triumph. This little discussion was far from over.

"Yeah, well, I didn't tell you to come into the bunkroom while I was changing," Ray chimed in bitterly. He wasn't taking it well, and he'd been acting all day as if he blamed her. Like she'd done it on purpose or something! Worst of all, now Egon looked more than just a little upset.

"I didn't know Ray! Slimer said you were in the bunkroom. He didn't say anything about you being naked!"

"Don't blame Slimer!" he shouted.

"I'm not!" she yelled in response. "I'm just saying don't blame me either!"

"Geez Louise, Janine! The only one you haven't seen naked today is Winston," Peter laughed.

Winston's eyes got huge before he lowered them. Janine winced and averted her gaze from Peter.

Peter looked at the two of them critically. "Correction: the only one you haven't seen naked today is Slimer!" He then fell down on the floor laughing until he was gasping for oxygen.

"WHAT!" Egon bellowed. He looked furiously at Winston, Ray and Peter. For a man who didn't usually give Janine a second glance, he sure did the jealousy thing really well.

Ray stared at Janine with unmitigated disgust. She flinched at his censorious glare.

"It was an accident," she uttered pitifully. "I walked in on him in the bathroom in the middle of the night." Janine looked around at her guys, her expression pleading for understanding. She didn't like what she saw on any of their faces. Egon was in a jealous rage, Peter was gloating smugly, Ray was reproachful, and Winston looked absolutely mortified. None of them would meet her gaze, not even Peter, who must not have been enjoying this as much as he was putting on.

Janine sighed pitifully and stood up. "It was an accident," she whispered once more, and then left the lab. She went downstairs, got her purse, and quickly packed her overnight bags. She called her sister Monica in New Jersey. Monica was going to let her stay until she could go home to her own apartment. At least there, she would only have to deal with another female, and a relative at that.

The lady of the firehouse headed out to her car, which she'd parked on the street so that Ecto-1 had more room to maneuver. Before she exited, Janine turned and looked back up at the stairs. A swell of righteous indignation overcame her. She frowned darkly. "FUCKING BACHELORS!" she exclaimed loudly as she slammed the firehouse door behind her.


	6. All is Forgiven

**The Naked Truth**

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters nor do I profit from their use in this story. My purpose is one of philosophical fulfillment: I write, therefore I am.

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Last time . . . .

_Before she exited, Janine turned and looked back up at the stairs. A swell of righteous indignation overcame her. She frowned darkly. "FUCKING BACHELORS!" she exclaimed loudly as she slammed the firehouse door behind her._

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**Sunday night – 10:04 p.m.**

Janine chuckled, remembering her own ire with amusement as she pulled her nightgown over her head and got into her own bed. In hindsight, the whole ordeal was pretty damn funny. Especially since the guys had each called her at her sister's house to apologize.

Peter had called first, saying that he hadn't meant to cause her problems with Egon. He'd been really embarrassed and was just trying to lighten the mood. He said he'd gotten his punishment for it though. They heard her leave, and they'd all thought she had no place to stay. They'd been terribly worried and had called her family and friends for hours trying to find her. Peter had gotten an earful from her mother who accused them of "doing something" to her daughter. Janine laughed out loud. She knew exactly how much of an earful her mother must have given him. Janine was the baby of the family and her mom was fiercely protective of her.

Egon had called next, brusquely apologizing for behaving so unprofessionally, but he'd assured her it was due to his feelings of mortification. He understood that it must have been just as awkward for her. He said that they all sometimes forgot that they each had little habits that made the firehouse more like a frat house, and that they would be more careful about it, whether they thought she was around or not because it was better to just build habits than to always be self-conscious.

Ray had said he was very sorry for being so mean to her, and of course she didn't do it on purpose. He was just so humiliated, he'd had to lash out at someone, and she was an easy target. When they heard what she said as she left and came downstairs and saw her bags were gone and then that her car was gone from outside, he said he'd felt horrible. She said that she felt worst of all about what happened with him because she really was in the wrong. She'd always knocked before entering the bunkroom. She shouldn't have assumed that Slimer would tell her if he was decent, and he could have just as easily gotten undressed after Slimer left. Ray had remarked that he would have made the same assumption and that he was now training Slimer to always tell her whether he or the other guys were dressed when informing her where to find them. Janine sighed in relief. She didn't want Ray to be mad at her any more than she suspected he ever wanted to be mad.

Winston had called to tell her that his dad was finished with her apartment and she could return to it at anytime. As they talked for a while longer, he admitted that he was still uncomfortable with what had happened, but that he was working on it. In a few minutes, they were laughing and joking together about the absurdity of her seeing them all in the buff with erections in one day.

Once Janine had talked to the guys, she felt much better about things. They would all be okay.

But there was one thing Winston had said that still bothered her. "You know how doctors get so much influence over their patients, Janine? It's because they've seen us naked. They have us at a disadvantage. We automatically feel a little inferior to them because of that. I think that's how we all feel about you now. Even Peter, although I know he'll never admit it. It's a little unnerving so don't be freaked out if none of us can look you in the eye for a while."

Janine thought long and hard about this on the ride to work that morning. Somewhere in the middle of the Lincoln Tunnel, the perfect solution came to her.

And she knew just what photo to use, too.


	7. That's Janine!

**The Naked Truth**

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters nor do I profit from their use in this story. My purpose is one of philosophical fulfillment: I write, therefore I am.

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****Last time . . . .**

_"You know how doctors get so much influence over their patients, Janine? It's because they've seen us naked. They have us at a disadvantage. We automatically feel a little inferior to them because of that. I think that's how we all feel about you now, even Peter. It's a little unnerving so don't be freaked out if none of us can look you in the eye for a while."_

_Janine thought long and hard about this on the ride to work that morning. Somewhere in the middle of the Lincoln Tunnel, the perfect solution came to her._

_And she knew just what photo to use, too._

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Thursday – 1:38 p.m.

Peter Venkman was thumbing through the mail when he found an ornately embellished manila envelope addressed to the Ghostbusters. The envelope was decorated by hand with scenes and artwork from Mardi Gras in New Orleans, but it had a New York City postmark.

Egon, Ray and Winston were down in the basement doing maintenance on the containment unit. Peter went to ask them about the letter. Ray and Winston looked up at Peter's approach, but Egon remained focused on what he was doing.

"Yo guys, does anyone know someone from the New Orleans area other than that weirdo chick we met when we battled Malachi?"

"Nope," Ray replied shaking his head in amusement at Peter's less than flattering description of their former client, Marie Gautier. Peter was still bitter that he'd missed Mardi Gras while the others went to Hawaii, sending him a postcard just to poor salt on his wounds. Everyone else still had to smile whenever Peter and New Orleans were included in the same thought.

"No, Peter." Egon still didn't look up, although he did sport the faintest of smirks.

"Can't say I do, m'man." Winston shrugged and leaned casually against the side of the computer terminal while biting the edge of his lip to suppress a chuckle. "Why?" Oops. Slight snicker.

Peter narrowed his eyes at his freinds but didn't comment on the obvious reason for their poorly concealed mirth. Instead, he stayed focused on the reason he'd searched them all out in the first place. "We got this big envelope that looks like it's from New Orleans but it came from a local post office. Egon could you check it for PKE? It could be a mail-order voodoo curse or something."

Egon rolled his eyes and, without even looking up from his work, passed the meter over the envelope. He took a cursory glance at the screen. "Negative spectral energy."

"In that case . . ." Peter smiled as he ripped the envelope open while climbing the stairs. He read the note on the smaller envelope and then opened it. He froze halfway up the second flight of steps. He stayed there, slackjawed, staring at the photo for a long time, unable to move or speak.

"Hey Pete, you all right?" Winston was the first to notice Peter's catatonia.

Peter looked down at his fellow Ghostbusters, his face lit up with a mixture of amusement, mischief, embarrassment and . . . was that _arousal_ on his face? Ray and Winston were now very curious, but Egon was still oblivious, having still not looked up.

Peter hid the photo behind his back and handed the business-size envelope with the note on it to Ray and Winston. Then he showed them the photo from inside the envelope. Both their jaws dropped in silent tribute to Peter's own initial reaction. Ray blushed furiously while Winston and Peter exchanged a dirty grin. Peter walked over to Egon, hiding the photo behind his back again.

"Hey, Spengs. I think you oughta look at this. It's inspiring on a very spiritual level."

"Not now, Peter." Egon continued to fiddle with the containment unit's computer motherboard.

"Oh, I think now would be the perfect time." He placed the smaller envelope in front of Egon, note side up. Egon quickly glanced at it then looked up at Peter, clearly puzzled. Peter chuckled and nodded toward the envelope. Egon picked up the envelope, reading the typed print on the affixed label carefully.

_To the Ghostbusters, _

_I thought you'd like to know the "naked truth" about your secretary. _

_Signed,  
A Friend_

Peter then handed the photograph to Egon, and watched the physicist's face go through about a million different emotions.

In the picture, a younger Janine Melnitz was standing in a crowd under a street sign that said "Bourbon Street: Rue Bourbon". She was clearly in New Orleans. She looked to be in her late teens or early twenties, probably still in college. It was definitely a tableau that hinted at Spring Break spent at Mardi Gras.

Her hair fell in long, silky red locks around her face in a style that was popular in the late 1970s. Her makeup was minimal, but she looked stunning without it. She was smiling with a mixture of humor and seduction, her eyes heavy lidded, a look that all four Ghostbusters found more than a little appealing. On her head, she was wearing a 1920s flapper style hat covered with sequins and with a huge ostrich feather sticking out of the top of it. Around her neck, she was wearing at least ten strings of brightly colored beads. One could not judge what her outfit was like though. Her lower half was cut off by the camera, and her shirt was not so easy to see either.

That's probably because she'd lifted it up and was flashing her ample but still very perky tits at the camera.

The four guys looked at each other, smiled wolfishly, and then looked at the picture again.

"Hey! Are you guys down there?" Janine's voice carried into the basement, before she opened the door and entered. "Oh there you are. The stupid alarm didn't work when I hit the button; we got a call."

The guys all looked very guilty. Egon stuffed the photo into his pocket and ripped the envelope into tiny little pieces, and threw them away. They all looked up at her defiantly as if they dared her to find evidence that they'd done or seen something wrong.

She looked at them as if they were crazy for a moment, then shrugged and went back upstairs. When she was out of earshot, she cracked up. She'd seen the Mardi Gras decorations she'd drawn on the large envelope they failed to hide. And her plan had worked perfectly. As she'd suspected, they were now looking her in the eye again. Mission accomplished. 'My work here is done!' she thought.

Back in the basement, the guys all looked at each other conspiratorially. Egon pulled the photo out again and the other three men gathered back around the tallest Ghostbuster to look once more. "This must be from an old acquaintance of hers," Egon mused. "Some sort of petty grudge."

"Yeah. Or maybe just someone who's jealous that she's so famous and beautiful. They must not have known that this would never color our judgment of Janine," Winston said.

"No need to torture her with this," Ray observed. "She wouldn't do that to us."

"She certainly wouldn't," Peter replied absently, gazing at the photo again.

"So we just pretend we didn't see anything?" Ray asked hopefully.

"It's worked well in the past," Winston added with a shrug before heading up the stairs. Ray and Peter followed after him, but Egon still stood by the containment unit, staring at the picture.

"You coming, Egon?" Ray asked.

'Almost,' Egon thought with a lazy smile. He looked up and told Ray he would be right along. He started up the stairs after the others. As he was about to put the photo into his pocket again, he noticed some writing on the back. It read:

_Nice rack, huh Egon?_

He chuckled, instantly recognizing the feminine script. Having deduced whom the photo was really from and guessing why she'd sent it when he remembered how they'd all looked at her with feigned innocence a moment earlier, he had to admit he was impressed. He wondered at the fact that she knew he'd end up with it. He decided that it would be their little secret. He looked at the front of the photo again and smiled affectionately. "Nice rack indeed, Janine."

He pocketed the photograph, and headed upstairs. As he got into Ecto-1, he made a decision. It was definitely time to stop screwing around and ask Janine out on a real date. She had been more than patient, and he wasn't fooling anyone anymore. They all knew he was gone on her. Shyness and uncertainty be damned. He really cared about her, and it was time he showed it.

Besides, it was his sworn duty to appease scientific curiosity. He was bound and determined to compare the photo to the real thing!

**_END_**

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**Author's End Notes: **

Well, such is the mind of Tani. Sick, ain't it? Anyway, I thank you for reading and will happily read your reviews if you post any. No sweat if you don't. I should also mention, in addition to _Something's Going Around_, I referenced some other RGB episodes. They are as follows in order of reference in the story:

**A Ghost Grows in Brooklyn –** Egon gives Janine a geranium that's possessed by a ghost, unbeknownst to them all until it starts growing so big it covers all of NYC leaving destruction in its wake; the nexus? Janine's apartment!

**The Brooklyn Triangle –** introduced us to Winston's dad, who owns a construction company for which Winston used to work before becoming a Ghostbuster; also had a cute scene where Egon drools over Janine's high school yearbook photo

**Moaning Stones –** I made minor reference to Winston's heritage as a descendant of the Zulu shaman Shima Buku. In this episode, the spirit of Shima Buku possessed Winston's body, and apparently, his wardrobe! Mmmm . . . Winston in a loincloth . . . .

**The Spirit of Aunt Lois –** introduced us to Ray's aunt, Lois, who raised him after he was orphaned as a child

**Play Them Ragtime Boos –** during the latter part of Mardi Gras, the guys battle a ghost named Malachi in the small town of Muddy Flats, Louisiana which is just outside New Orleans


End file.
